


Black and White

by deanandcassbutt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, M/M, Motorcycle Impala, Soul mate, black and white
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:10:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanandcassbutt/pseuds/deanandcassbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester lives in a world where everyone sees black and white. Until they meet their soul mate, that is. When hundreds of new students arrive at the Midwest Quarter High School, Dean sees colours in the form of Castiel Novak. From then, he knows it’ll be hard for them, since most people can’t even tolerate the idea of same sex soul mates. (Loosely based of of the AU here: www.tumblr.com/tagged/Colour-Soulmate-AU)</p><p>Set in dystopia USA because I was bored.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. September, 2014

Dean Winchester woke up, and sighed heavily. Black and white. He’d gone to an annual search party, where hundreds of high school and college students in the Midwest quarter were, greeting people, trying to find their soulmates. Dean had talked to every single girl there, almost all of them from school. But nothing changed. No colour appeared.

It was slightly depressing; Sam, his younger brother, had already met his, a sweet girl named Jessica. They would both spend each day after finishing homework sitting on the porch of their room, marveling at what Dean was unable to see. Sam described meeting her once.

_“I saw her on the first day of freshman year. I could tell from across the class that he was stunning. I felt my heart kind of jump, and then… Everything sort of burst into colour and I knew it was her.”_

Dean got out of bed, bummed that he couldn’t tell what his dorm room really looked like. He walked into the bathroom, brushing his teeth and looking at himself in the mirror. At the hint of stubble around his jaw that made girls, single or soulmate bound, turn a darker grey and giggle. His grey eyes, which he didn’t know the real shade of.

Dean spat into the sink, and got dressed in his signature leather jacket, white t-shirt, and stressed jeans. He pulled on his boots and ruffled his hair before grabbing his backpack and motorcycle helmet and out his dorm room.

He walked down the fire exit stairs; the elevator was broken again. Someone had to fix it soon, he was tired of the ten flights of torture. Reaching the bottom level and the steadily growing crowd, he followed the sea of freshmen, sophomores, juniors and fellow seniors out of the dorm building entrance. As he did, most of the girls who saw him giggle and whispered to their friends, about that guy with the sexy face. Like they always did. Not that Dean really cared much, he was just nervous about finding his soulmate before graduating from college.

Once in the parking lot, he searched in the Kansas section for his motorcycle, spotting it easily. After starting it and riding out of the lot, he reached Midwest Quarter High School, to his district’s parking lot. He got off and found Sam and Jessica in the crowd, hand in hand. Dean jogged over, stuffing his helmet into his backpack. “Hey! Sammy, Jess!”

The couple turned around, Jessica smiling. “Dean! Wow, you got up on time for a change. Seeing colours yet?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah. I don’t get it. I talked to every girl there, and I got nothing. It’s bullshit.”

Sam laughed. "Don’t worry, there’s supposed to be tons of people coming from the North Quarter. Maybe she’ll be one of them.” The three of them separated, Sam and Jessica to Year 2 Spanish, Dean to his Biology room.

The classroom was huge, with 100 rows accommodating about 893,500 seats total, and that was for every single classroom. Dean thought of college classes whenever he walked into one of his high school ones, and it was slightly strange when he figured out the previous year that college classes were far smaller in comparison.

He went up the slowly rising steps to the middle row, sitting in his usual seat near the end, where not as many people sat. But it was not that day.

About seventy more students came into the already nearly full room, and most of them went straight in Dean’s row. He knew what Sam was now talking about; they were all from the North Quarter, due to their high school being destroyed after a huge earthquake during summer vacation. All thirteen district’s high schoolers were moved to the quarter of another family member, so naturally, most of them went to the Midwest.

As the class started, Dean looked to his left and right, at one of the only empty seats left. “Shit,” he sighed to himself, hoping that whoever was late wasn’t a girl who’d annoy the hell out of him by staring the entire year.

Five minutes into the teacher’s speech on the school year plan, the double doors burst open. A guy- another senior, Dean could tell- had entered, his dark hair a mess, his eyes dead tired, but holding the potential to be sweet when they were awake. He was panting; he had obviously gotten lost. Probably another North Quarter student. Dean sat up a bit in his chair as the teacher nodded.

“You must be Castiel Novak. Let’s see… Ah, yes. Take a seat next to Dean Winchester…Dean, could you wave your arm, please?” Dean obliged, and Castiel bounded up the steps two at a time, dropping into his chair as soon as he reached it. He took out the biology textbook, and Dean noticed a light blue notebook fall out with it onto the floor. He picked it up, giving it back to Castiel. Then he stopped.

Blue. He could see blue.

As he looked around the room, the world seemed to bloom into colour, and everything Sam had told him couldn’t add up to the real thing. His heart raced as the world he knew disappeared, and was replaced by something beautiful. He looked back to Castiel, and saw his eyes. Bluer, more beautiful than anything he’d seen.

And in that moment, Dean Winchester, who had to be his brothers guard since they were kids, who didn’t care about the girls and guys who stared at him, who rose a motorcycle since he was ten, who wanted a good life, knew he was screwed. All because his soulmate just happened to be a guy.

* * *

 

A loud clear bell rang across the huge Midwest High School campus three classes later, signaling the beginning of the lunch break. Dean walked from his English class to his dark green locker (he decided the colour was disgusting), putting his backpack inside as soon as it opened. He slowed down his search for his motorcycle keys when he saw Castiel, tan jacket, blue jeans and untidy dark hair standing out in the sea of students in the hallway, coming towards him. And opening the adjacent locker. Dean sprung at the chance.

“Hey, there, Cas.”

Castiel jumped, giving a small and barely discernible yelp. After seeing who it was, though, his eyes relaxed and he smiled. “Oh, hey, it’s you! I still can’t believe that w-”

“Shh! Keep your voice down if you’re gonna say it, someone could hear you. You do know what happens to soulmates like u....” He stopped and changed his wording. “To soulmates like  _that_  in the three quarters besides yours, right?”

Castiel cleared his throat and swallowed. “Y-yeah. The…um…the treatment thing. I saw a documentary on it once…scared me to death what people go through. It’s something like enough volts to cause irreversible brain damage or something... If they’re held for too long.”

Dean looked down; everybody knew how many volts the unlucky few were shocked with in 'treatment.' Hell, he’d known since he was in elementary school, after a terrifying class trip to the district treatment center when he saw a woman get shocked to death. He shook his head, and replaced his frown with a grin. Shutting his locker door, holding his helmet under one arm and an extra under the other.

“So, where do you wanna go for lunch?”

Castiel turned to look at him, and closed his own locker. “What, you mean…” He looked around, making sure nobody could hear over the hallway’s noise level. “You mean like a date?” Dean smiled even wider. “Yeah, a date. Why the hell not? I’ll pay.” He held the extra helmet out towards Cas, who furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Dean took a mental picture; his eyes- probably without him even knowing- were almost bedroom eyes, and they were at  _school._ Cas sighed and grabbed the helmet from Dean. “Fine,” he said, checking to make sure his locker was locked before turning back to Dean, “But the next time we do this, we’re walking.” Dean led the way out of the building and into the Kansas parking lot, stopping at his motorcycle. Castiel whistled.

“Wow. That’s…a '67 Impala, right?”

“Yeah, Chevy made only a couple hundred. My dad found it on the side of the road when I was a kid back home, and he started restoring it. Then he died, and I started where he left off, so I ride it now.”

Castiel nodded. “My dad collects bikes, he’d freak out if he saw this.”

“Cool. So, where d’you want to go?”

Cas watched Dean put his helmet on, turn a couple of switches on the bike, and after he got onto the seat, slightly jumped when Dean kicked the bike to life. Over the roar of the engine, he heard Dean say, “Fine, I’ll choose. Get on.” After ten minutes of riding through Logan, they ended up in front of a diner. After he stopped the bike, Dean put his helmet into a case attached to the back. Castiel did the same, and followed Dean into the restaurant, where a girl with blonde hair and brown eyes who looked their age was busy wiping down a table using a towel in one hand, balancing four plates on the other. She looked up when the door opened, and smiled.

“Dean! I’ve missed you!” “Hey, Jo!” The two hugged, and she smiled at Castiel. “You must be Castiel, right? Dean told me he was bringing you here for lunch. Careful, though, you two. Mom doesn’t appreciate PDA.” She winked, and shouted towards the kitchen, “MOM, DEAN’S HERE WITH A FRIEND! FOOD’S ON THE HOUSE!” A woman walked out. She looked like Jo, but with dark brown hair, a slightly rounder face. “Dean Winchester. How long has it been now, four years? How’s Sammy doin’?"

“Fine. He’s got his soulmate, Jessica Moore. Oh, Ellen, this is Castiel. Castiel, Ellen.”

Ellen shook Cas’ hand. He smiled and said, “Well, I also use Cas. Not as much of a mouthful.”

Ellen nodded and eyed Dean, shook her head and put a grin on her face. “You boys get whatever you like. Joanna, two more are comin’ in, honey.”

Jo rolled her eyes. “Let me get them to a table first, Mom! God! Okay, guys, here you go. I’ll be right back with menus and water, 'kay?” After Jo left them with another wink, Dean leaned back in his seat, the red leather under him creaking slightly as he did. “So, Cas is your nickname, huh? I like it. Sounds a lot better than Castiel, no offense.”

Castiel laughed. “None taken. So,” He copied Dean, leaned back. “Dean, we should tell each other about ourselves. You know, before we risk everything we’ve got so far to be together.”

“Okay, then. I was born in Lawrence, Kansas on January 24 in '96. My brother was born when I was three, and my dad died when I was eight. I’m probably bi, but I dunno, really. It’s not that safe to be open about that here. I like classic rock more than any other kind of music in existence, I’ve got a soulmate after looking for the past four years, and…that’s it, I guess.”

Cas nodded. “My turn, I guess… I’m from Seattle, I’ve got three big brothers. Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. I have a little sister, Estielle, she’s an equal rights activist in our quarter, and everyone there knows her. My birthday is Christmas Day, also in “96, and…um…well, you already know about my dad. My mom likes to bake a  _lot._  I  _am_ bisexual, and I haven’t been looking, I just didn’t really have any time to go to search parties.”

Dean smiled. “So this was pretty much chance, then?”

“Yeah, I guess it was.”

Jo came back with two menus and a large root beer float. “Sorry, we were all out of water...”

Dean scoffed. “Bullshit, you want us to share.”

She grinned mischievously. “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Maybe I think you are just, like, fucking adorable. I dunno.” She shrugged and walked back to another table where two people were sitting.

Dean took a sip of root beer and smiled at Cas. “Christmas Day. You must have been one hell of a Christmas present.” He raised an eyebrow as Castiel’s cheeks grew red. “You’re blushing, Cas. It’s pretty cute.” They looked at their menus for another five minutes and got their food as more and more people came in, most of them other students. The diner was soon overcrowded, Jo running around, getting order after order, her soulmate David and her little brother Bill helping Ellen cook plate after plate. After they had ordered, they noticed that everybody else was getting up and leaving, handing Jo money as they hurried out to their cars. Jo saw Dean and Cas in the empty restaurant, and threw two to-go boxes at them.

“Hurry up, you two!” She cried, stuffing their fries and burgers into the boxes and forcing Dean and Cas to drink the soda in record time, “Class starts in eight minutes!” Castiel swore.

“Shit! I have calculus, I heard that the teacher is a complete terror if people are late!” Dean grabbed their boxes from Jo as they headed out and put them into the case, attaching them together with duct tape. “We’re going to be riding in sport mode. We’ll be going fast. Like,  _really_ fast. Okay? Just hold on to me and don’t let go, alright?” Castiel nodded, and put on his helmet before getting on behind Dean, who kicked the motorcycle on. Dean was telling the truth; Cas felt like if he hadn’t been wearing a helmet, his skin would have turned red from the speed of the wind. In just six minutes, Dean was slowing down to the front of the high school entrance, taking Cas’ helmet. Castiel turned around.

“Thanks, Dean, for lunch. It was good.”

Dean smiled. “No problem, Cas. I’m excited to see you later.”

There was an awkward silence, where the warning bell for class sounded. Cas took his phone from his pocket.

“Can I get your number? You know, in case you wanna talk or something.”

“Yeah, it’s 1-866-907-3235. How 'bout yours?”

Castiel finished putting the number into his phone, and said, “425-887-2301.”

“Okay. Thanks for coming with me, Cas.”

“No problem. See ya, Dean!”

Dean went towards the Kansas parking lot, thinking to himself, "Thank God I found him…”

**Three Hours Later**

Dean tapped his pencil rapidly on the desk, staring at the clock over the teacher’s head without blinking. Another hour until school was out and he could see his soulmate again.

The thought sparked an idea. He got his phone from his pocket and started a message to Castiel.

_Hey, Cas. How’s it going?_

He sent it, and in a couple of seconds, got a reply.

**_Dean, its class! Oh, and I’m good._ **

Dean smiled and took some fake notes.

_Where are you guys staying?_

**_The temp dorms. It’s crowded. Do you have a roommate?_ **

Dean looked around and sent another message.

_Can you get out of class for a little? And no, I don’t._

**_You do now!_ **

**_Why do you want to get out of class?_ **

_So I can see you. It’s been three hours, man._

**_Okay, fine. Meet me by our lockers?_ **

_Sounds good. Say you have to go the bathroom or something._

**_Okay. See you there!_ **

Dean locked his phone and put it back in his pocket, raised his hand. “Can I go to the bathroom?”The teacher waved towards the door, and kept talking about the year’s plans. Dean bounded up the stairs, and went out of the doors in the back. He walked quickly towards his locker, and smiled when he saw Cas there. He stood in front of his locker, and couldn’t help but take a sharp breath. Cas tilted his head. “What is it?”

Dean chuckled, looking down. “Nothin’, I just forgot how blue your eyes are. God, that’s cliché…” Cas laughed and sighed. “Yeah, well, I think the soulmate thing is nature’s great big fuck you to people who hate clichés in the first place, so don’t worry about it.”

They stood there for a second, not really saying anything, just noticing what they never had before about each other’s features; Cas could see the spatters of freckles across Dean’s nose, that his face was perfectly symmetrical. Dean discerned the faintest hint of green mixed into the blue of Cas’ eyes.

Dean moved closer towards Castiel, and placed both of his hands on either side of the other boy’s head against his locker. “No one’s here…” Cas’ eyes widened. “And I have a feeling we’re past the clichés.”

Castiel made to weave under Dean’s arm but Dean was quicker, and caught his lips in a second. Castiel stood up straight, and stayed still for a few seconds after Dean pulled away. Dean felt panicked. Was he going too-?

No, not too fast at _all_. Cas grabbed the nape of his neck with a strong grip, forcing their lips back together. Dean recovered from surprise in no time at all, held onto his soulmate’s face, getting as close as he could manage. Castiel bit Dean’s bottom lip, and Dean twisted his fingers into Cas’ hair, who was gripping his shoulders with white knuckles, his nails leaving marks in Dean’s shoulders through his AC/DC t-shirt. Too early for Dean’s expectation, Cas broke away and said in a quiet voice, “We have classes, Dean, they’ll send someone out to look for us.” Dean nodded, but didn’t move until a good minute after Cas had ducked under his arm and back to calculus. Dean sighed, and said to himself, “Oh, God, Dean, you are so fucked. What are you doing? What the hell are you doing?”

 

* * *

 

 

After school, Cas met Dean at his bike, and they both put their books into the case. After putting on their helmets and Dean kick-starting the motorcycle, they went to the temporary dorms, Dean dropping Cas off. “Okay. So, when you get to the main dorm building, you go up to floor ten, and turn left as soon as you get up there. Go down the hall to the door with the Led Zeppelin poster on it, and that’s my room. You can put your crap on the floor. I’ll call the dorm manager and tell him you’re coming, he’ll set up something for you to sleep on.”

Cas nodded, entered the temp dorms. Dean sped to the huge permanent dorm building, the same one his mother and father had been in in high school. It was huge; a brick structure fifty floors high with a hundred rooms each, towering over the temporary dorms, which had only one hundred rooms total.  He got into the now working elevator after parking in his designated spot in the Kansas section, smashing the ten button at least twenty times before the doors actually closed. He tapped his foot impatiently as the elevator crawled its way up the building, and as soon as the doors opened, ran to the door of room 1021, flinging it open.

Dean’s room was like any teenagers room. Messy, with band posters all over the walls and clothes hiding the floor. His posters, however, weren't the same as most of his friends; they were AC/DC, Kansas, even _more_ Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Metallica. Pictures from his childhood were on a corkboard by his bed. A picture of him in the hospital the day he was born; him holding Sam after he was born; sitting on the floor with his dad working on the Impala when he was five; a family picture in Lawrence of his mom, dad, him, and Sammy the year before John would be killed in a car crash during Dean’s 3rd grade year; a picture of him with Jo in the first and second grade, and him finishing up the 8 years of repairs on the Impala the summer of sophomore year. He hastily picked up his clothes off the floor by the armful, dumping them into the drawers of his dresser in no particular order.

He stopped, remembering that he could see colours now. He had never even seen what his family had looked like after he’d met Cas. He went over to the corkboard, took out the pin holding the family portrait, and stared with new eyes. His mother had hair like Jo’s, the same blonde-brown. He could tell that her eyes were blue, like Sammy’s were now, but in the picture, his and Dean’s were a light grey. He had nearly brown hair like John’s, with just a hint of his mother’s hair colour, while Sam was all blond. The sky behind them was blue, their house looking warm and inviting. His mom looked happy, with light red cheeks that made her even more beautiful than Dean had ever seen her. John had that effect on her. She was never really happy after he had died.

Dean put the picture back, and looked at the door as it opened up, Castiel in the entrance. He had two suitcases, and Sammy was next to him, carrying a third. His arms were tense from the weight, but not even looking like the case weighed anything. Dean hated that awkward moment when Sam was both taller and muscular than him. Dean took one suitcase from Cas and set it down on the floor by his bed, his brother and soulmate doing the same. Sam smiled and whispered in Dean’s ear, “He told me everything. Don’t be too loud, alright?” Dean smacked his little brother on the arm, and said, “Fuck off, Sammy! Go be with your girlfriend!”

Sam left and closed the door behind him, laughing all the way back to the elevator. Dean finally noticed the dark and ugly shade of green in the corner opposite his bed that was an Army style cot when Cas said, “I guess that’s what I’ll have to sleep on.” Dean shook his head. “No. No way in Hell. I don’t care, you’re gonna to be with me, okay?” Castiel blushed. “But, Dean, isn’t that, like, illegal or something here?”

“Shut up. It’s our room, and it’s our space until we graduate.”

CAS looked around, mainly at the corkboard. He pointed to the picture of Dean’s family. "This your dad?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. He was a mechanic, he could build a go kart out of anything. He could fix things that most people would think would never work. I remember that he started on the Impala when I was five or somethin’, taught me about what I had to do to keep it in shape. After he died, I sort of continued for him. I actually kept going the day after he died.”

Cas smiled. “That’s nice. Kind of a thing to remember him by?”

“Yeah.”

“So, where did your parents stay here? I’m guessing they both went here for high school.”

Dean laughed. “You’re right. They actually stayed in here, believe it or not, that’s why there are a few posters that my mom picked out. Like the Guns N” Roses one. My dad put them all up when they were juniors, and no one liked them who went here after he left, so I think I’m the only other person to have this room. Except for about two other people. I’ve been in here since freshman year.”

Cas opened the closet and turned around slowly. “Dean, did you clean up before I got here?”

Dean made a face, and said quickly, “What makes you think that?”

“Well, a shitload of stuff is spilling out of your dresser.”

Dean tried to keep his nerves calm by pressing play on his CD player, and sighed with defeat when it was AC/DC. “Fine, I did. I was nervous, and I only really clean up when I’m nervous. Which is also why my room is never clean.” Castiel smiled and turned back towards the corkboard, and touched the edge of a picture of Dean in what looked like first grade, standing in front of the gate of the Midwest quarter airport’s school section with Jo. A Dean with blond hair, light grey eyes, a Patrick Star backpack on the ground in front of him, and a nervous smile on his face. The almost baby-faced Jo held onto his hand, her thumb in her mouth as she looked away from the camera. Cas froze when he felt a set of arms snake around his waist and Dean’s lips against his ear.

“You know, Cas, we didn’t have the chance to go any further with that thing in the hallway.” Castiel breathed in a shaky breath as Dean moved to his neck. “We just…didn’t have the privacy…” He turned around, and Dean smirked at the look on Cas’ face after realizing how close they really were. He laughed and said softly, “It’s okay, Cas, it’ll work out. You and me, we can get through a goddamn year of this and then we can leave. Right? You trust me?” Castiel nodded and closed his eyes as Dean kissed him, and Dean scoffed as Bon Scott sang, and said to no one in particular, “God, I really am on the Highway to Hell.”

Cas grinned, taking off Dean’s leather jacket as he replied, “I call shotgun.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dean woke up, expecting it all to have been one crazy prolonged dream, the kind where a day lasts for only a few hours of sleep. But everything, from seeing the colours for the first time and Castiel’s eyes, to the hallway and _Highway to Hell_ …It all was so detailed. Every single second seemed to be locked in front of anything else in his mind, more than anything he could remember. Especially the first time with Cas. He’d been nervous as fuck, but Castiel had said that everything was okay, that Dean was safe, and he’d even held, _really_ held onto Dean afterwards, and Dean had just spilled out everything; how his dad and mom had started fighting the week before he died and she never forgave herself, how he was freaked out about people finding out about them, how he really wanted it to work, more than anything. And then he’d said it.

“Cas?”

“Mhm?”

“I think I’m seriously in love with you. For real.”

“You’re just saying that because it’s the first time…”

Cas had given Dean a sad look that broke his heart, so Dean, with sincerity, told Cas, “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have told you any of what I just said. Sammy doesn’t even know about Mom and Dad falling out. I know I shouldn’t want to be with you and that if anyone finds out about it, we’re fucked, but you know what? I don’t care. I don’t _care_ that people could take you from me, cos I’d just find my way right back. You know why? Because I’m here, right now, with you and this feeling that we’re safe here. Cos I’ve got you with me, and, believe it or not, that’s all I fucking want.”

Castiel had tightened his grip on Dean’s shoulder, and had fallen asleep smiling, even though sunlight streaked through the cracks in the blinds and hit his eyelids. Now, as Dean sat up in bed, he looked at the window. No light coming through. He carefully brought his arm out of Castiel’s and stretched, his back cracking after being curled up by his soulmate for God knows how long. He eyed Cas’ suitcases, and looked back to the sleeping person on his bed. He opened up the one Sam had been carrying, and was greeted by a stack of record covers and a turntable, a photo album and a light blue Polaroid camera. Picking up the photo album, Dean leafed through the pages, and noticed a picture of Cas and a girl at least a foot shorter standing in front of the North quarter’s school gate, both of them hugging the other tightly. The date read _August 30 th, 2014: Going to the Midwest Quarter_. So the girl was probably his sister. She looked pretty, and Dean couldn’t even see her face. All he could see was the waist length waves of brown that cascaded down her back and floral jeans, oversized sweatshirt and brown boots. He heard a voice from his bed.

“If you’re wondering, yeah, that is Estie. She’s two years younger than me, so we’re pretty close. Our brothers are all seniors in college already. I should call her and introduce you guys.” Dean smiled and nodded.

“That’d be nice. But first, you gotta unpack all of your crap. And we have shit due tomorrow. THEN we can call her.” Cas laughed, and said, “NO WAY IN HELL!” But he did it all anyway. It was weird how well Dean seemed to know his soulmate already, and it wasn’t even day one.


	2. October

**October 31, 2014**

"Cas, did you buy the fake cobwebs like I asked you?"

"Crap, I forgot… But I did get those fire lights, though, and candy." Castiel held up two Safeway bags, and grinned. "You didn't say how much was too much." Dean looked up from his work on a banner, adding the final blood drop to the painted words 'DANGER: DEMON TERRITORY!" He had been working on it since him and Cas got up, as well as the rest of the room, from fake blood on the door-frame to chunks of dry ice that filled containers under the cot, which would be opened up near ten when everyone started making their Halloween trick-or-treat rounds to fill the room with dense fog. Cas had been surprised at how into Halloween everyone was. They had the week off to prepare; teachers even made up their offices, starting in the beginning of November in some cases. Dean explained that each room was assigned a theme each year, and he had perfected the 's _upernatural_ book series after three years of doing it. Filled with demons and monsters and blood, his cup of tea.

Cas helped Dean pick up the banner, grabbing two thumb tacks on his way out the door. He got up on his toes, trying desperately to reach near the top of the doorframe, but had to step back so Dean could do it. "Give me one, Cas. I won't be able to stick this thing up with magic, you know." Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Dean, relax. It's just a holiday, it's not like people are gonna judge you just on how the banner is hanging over the door." Dean laughed sarcastically. "Tell that to Lisa Braeden, she got a single name spelled wrong for the whole "Biblical Angel" theme she had to do and she had a ton of these people totally on her ass about it for months." Cas sighed. "I'm just saying, Dean, that it's not good to stress yourself out over the smallest thing. Okay? That's why you can't go to sleep sometimes." Dean grunted as he pushed the thumb tack into the wall. "Other one, please." He snatched it with a smile, but Castiel didn't buy it. "You're changing the subject. Come on, just try and be stress free for one day. I'll try and make you a pie." Dean smiled, but a genuine one this time. "How? We don't have an oven or anything." Cas shrugged. "I have sources." The laugh that he produced from Dean was uplifting. "Illegal pie? Damn, Cas, you're getting into some deep-" Cas smacked Dean on the arm lightly, mumbling, "Just put the thing in already."

"That's what you said last night."

Castiel stared up at him, mouth open in shock at the not at all subtle innuendo, and glanced around to see if anyone heard. "Dean, what the hell! Are you trying to get us caught?!" He whispered, loud enough for his soulmate to hear. Dean rolled his eyes and went back inside of their room, closing the door behind him and Cas. He went over to the CD player, looking at the different tracks of the album  _Back in Black_. He shrugged and put the disc in, just letting it play.  _Hells Bells_ came on, and Dean walked over to Castiel, placing his hands on his waist and kissed him lightly. "I'm just mostly happy that everyone'll be way to hungover tomorrow to care that we hook up." They jumped apart when a knock sounded from the door.

"WHO IS IT?" Cas yelled, pushing Dean off as he tried kissing him again. He beamed at the reply.

"It's your sister, you idiot!"

Cas rushed to the door, flung it open, and picked up a brown haired girl in a white floor length dress, fake angel wings, and a golden halo around her head. Estielle.

Dean cleared his throat, and Castiel put his sister back on the ground. "Hey, um…Hi, again, Estie." She jumped at him, kissing his cheek. "OH MY GOD, DEAN! Wow, you're not as hot as I expected, what with Cas talking about you nonstop, but you're not that bad." Estielle laughed, and put her suitcase down by the cot. Cas cleared his throat, and said, "So, Estie, I'm glad you're here and all, but shouldn't you be in school?" She raised an eyebrow. "Um, what is my part time job, Cas? I'm speaking at the soulmate equality protest at the Midwest Quarter Social Government building, they let me off for a week. There's gonna be over ten thousand people there, you know, the usual number."

Dean sat down on the edge of his bed, his curiosity piqued. "There's a soulmate equality protest?  _Here?_ " Estielle shrugged. "Yeah, it was hard to get many people to sign up, but we did it. There are areas in each quarter where most of the separated couples get sent off to, so we contacted the people on the red list living in Omaha and Lebanon and organized them to get one day visas so they could be with their soulmates for a bit. That really spurred attention to how many people are separated, you know? It's pretty sad."

"So when is it? I'm actually interested in coming, now that you mention it…" Estielle smiled. "Really? That's awesome! Could you tell me why? I just really want to know." Dean looked up at Cas, who nodded. "Well, because Cas is…he's my soulmate, and also because it's important to me. I don't want to be forced to leave him." Estielle sat there for a second, her face blank, like a section of her brain had just shorted from the information she had just received. She then grinned, her face more angelic than Dean thought was possible. "I can't believe it! I just… I can't handle it, I'm so happy! I was so worried that Cas would end up like me… But thank GOD he found you! Actually, thank God that the high school was ruined from that earthquake. That's basically why you guys met in the first place…" Dean was confused.

"I thought you were two years younger than Cas." "I am, he's 17, and I'm 15. Eighth grade. I started school later than most people, but it's because I had some pretty…have some medical problems. I'm supposed to be in ninth, but I'm not. It's complicated." Dean looked over to Cas, who was looking down at the ground. He decided to pick up the mood. "So, Estielle, you're speaking, right? Can you give us a preview?" She went right back to smiling, and went back to her suitcase, digging through. "Yeah, totally! Let me see. Where did I put you…? AHA!" She held up two pieces of paper in triumph, words typed on either side. "Here it is, my speech. I worked on it for  _hours_ , my laptop wasn't working, I had to use Dad's typewriter. I don't want to read it, but you guys can. I'm saving my voice." She handed the sheets to Dean.

Hello, my name is Estielle Novak. I am in the eighth grade at North Quarter Regional Middle School, and I am here today to speak on behalf of my quarter and hundreds of unspoken people in the rest of the country.

"In my hometown of Seattle, I've seen more same sex soulmates than any other place I've had the task of visiting. I always wonder how many there really are outside of my district and my quarter, since the government produced estimates are off by thousands. And, despite the amazing amount of tolerance and love shown towards the five couples at my school; Julia Hansen and Erica Martinez, Alexander Smith and John Hunter, Elisabeth Hardegsen and Caroline Jones, Luke Hale and Sam Guzman; I know that there are hundreds of other people around the nation who are kicked out of their homes, killed, given 'treatment" and separated from their soulmates because of something they have no control over.

'Research done in the past twenty years since the start of the soulmate equality movement has shown that in most cities around the world, around 1 out of 50 people has a soulmate of the same gender. But the number that we've been given by our national government is 1 out of 1000. So if you use that, only 319 people in the entire country have a soulmate of their gender. In reality, that number is 63800, or 2% of our country's population.

"So, how come the government has given us a number that is so different from what it really is?

"Because of the mind-set that has been put on the people of this country since childhood. That having a soulmate of the same gender is wrong. That if you do, you have something wrong with you, that it should be illegal. But how would outlawing something genetic do anything?

"Let me give you an example as to why oppression of same sex soulmates isn't right. Two girls meet at school, and they see colours for the first time. One is from the North quarter, the other from the Midwest. Because of the school being destroyed, they basically met by chance. They end up rooming, and feel like they can only really be together in their dorm room. But, after being as careful as possible, they are told to pack their things after another student saw them kiss. The one from the Midwest is sent back home, the same with the girl from the North quarter. They are placed on their respective district's red lists. If they try and meet in a different quarter, their location can be tracked by satellite. They won't even be allowed outside the country. This happens to hundreds of people every single year.

"The separation of soulmates due to sexuality is actually outlawed by the U.N. according to worldwide law, it's punishable by an indefinite number of years in prison. It'd be difficult putting every single person in charge of the separation process in jail.

"So, many of you are probably asking how we're fighting for equality. In my quarter, the laws to separate soulmates were abolished, and we are currently working on a single law that would give same sex soulmates the same inalienable rights as straight couples. And it's going on the ballot in November, so fingers crossed it'll pass.

"What the rest of the country has to do is follow our lead. Stop separating couples, stop teaching hate at such a young age, and just let people marry who they are pretty much meant to be with. Otherwise, it won't make us be united as much as we think we really are. Thank you."

Dean looked back up at Estielle, his mouth open wide. "You…you wrote this? I still can't write a term paper to save my life!" She laughed. "Thanks! I'm glad you guys like it! I can't wait to meet Sam and Jessica…Oh, someone knocked. Looks like Trick-or-Treating is starting!" Dean swore. "I'm a hunter! Crap! Oh, well, in the books Liam wears basically what I do every single day, so I'm pretty good. Cas was smart and wore his Superman thing all day. You ready to go, Cas?" Castiel sighed. "I thought you were gonna be Batman, Dean." Dean shook his head and grabbed his costume off of his bed, Cas perking up immediately. "Fine. I'll be Batman. Go and take your sister around, I'll come out when I'm ready." They kissed quickly as the knocking intensified and Dean went into the bathroom.

"TRICK OR FUCKING TREAT, WINCHESTER, WE WANT CANDY!"

A shout from the closed bathroom door made Estielle laugh when Dean yelled, "Shut the hell up, Alastair, no one cares."

* * *

"Trick or treat!" "Oh, my God, you're so cute! Here's extra candy for being an Angel." Estielle smiled down into the Whole Foods bag she was carrying as Ruby Cortes piled candy into it, her soulmate, Lucenzo Vasquez, looking over her shoulder at Castiel. Cas shuffled uncomfortably in place, the dark brown eyes seemed to be stabbing knives into his head. He moved off after Estielle tugged his hand. "C'mon, Cas, we still have to find Sam and Jessica." He turned towards her, and bumped right into someone tall who didn't move out of his way. "Cas! Hey! Where's Dean?"

"He's on his way, he's getting his Batman costume on right now. Hey, Sam, Jessica."

Estielle looked up at Sam, tilting her head as far back as she could. "Whoa, you're super tall…And pretty! Girl, you're lucky." Jessica held onto Sam's hand, brought a strand of dark blonde hair behind her ear. "I know, he's a great boyfriend. So who's yours?" Estielle flinched a bit, then changed the subject. "I like your costume, Jess. What's Sam supposed to be?"

"I'm supposed to be me. I don't really do Halloween…" Jessica tugged the hem of her short nurse dress down a bit, adjusted the sleeves. "I'm gonna go and stop by Anna's room. I heard she got Movie Theater, and that she actually has a movie screen on her wall with  _Guardians of the Galaxy_. See you, Estie!" Sam followed her, waving back to Estielle and Cas as he did. Just when Jessica and Sam got into the elevator, Dean came running up to Cas and his sister, grinning under his Batman mask. "I think we should go to see what Alastair had this year so I can rub it in his face." Castiel chuckled at Dean's impression of the superhero. "Why do you hate him so much, Dean?"

"Because I'm BATMAN! Come on, we still have Sam and Jess's hippy den to look at."

* * *

**One Hour Later**

Dean stuffed a Hershey's in his mouth, his mask hanging from his arm. "Mmm. I'm just saying", Cas, that at Christmas break, you should come and see my mom." Sam shook his head. "No way, Dean. Do you remember what she said when she found out that the next door neighbors' daughter's soulmate was a girl? 'Oh Lord, help those poor people.' Yeah. So I don't think that telling her would be such a good idea." Estielle came back to the lobby level with her suitcase, and Sam smiled at her, bringing his car keys out of his pocket. "You ready to go to the temp dorm?" She nodded. "Yep. Hey, are you going to the protest thing on Tuesday?"

"Yeah, I thought we were all going. All five of us, right?"

Dean was confused. "Wait, Sammy, since when have you been into that kind of thing?"

"Because I want to support y-"He was cut off by Dean's hand clamped over his mouth. "SHUT THE FUCK UP, SAMMY! Not so loud, Jesus Christ!" Dean let go, and Sam looked straight into his eyes in frustration. "What, just because hardly anyone supports it here, I can't?" Castiel and Jessica stepped between their soulmates, who brushed them aside with ease. Dean glared at his brother, and he lowered his voice. "No. You can. But don't even mention me. Don't mention me, Sammy, because I don't want my entire damn future to be ruined because you support me."

Sam narrowed is eyes, his hands curling into fists as he got in his older brother's face. "I'm trying to be a good brother, okay? I don't wanna ruin your life, so don't go making me feel like  _shit_  for wanting to be here for you and Cas." He shoved Dean and made his way towards the door. He didn't get there; Dean grabbed the collar of his plaid shirt, and heaved Sam against the wall, anger in his features.

"You don't think I know that, Sam?" he said, holding Sam still. "You don't think I know you're trying to be a good brother? Well, I'm trying to keep you from getting mixed up in all of this. I don't want you to get hurt because your brother's soulmate is a guy. Okay? I'm just trying to help you and Jess live the way Cas and I probably will never be able to. So you don't know half of what I'm going through. So just leave it." He let go of Sam, and stormed to the elevator, swearing when it didn't come, and went to the stairs, slamming the door behind him. Sam grabbed Jessica's hand, and said, "Come on, Estielle, the dorm locks up at twelve." She nodded, and as she headed out, hugged Castiel. "Hey, Cas?"

"Yeah, Estie?" "Tell Dean that Sam's just concerned for him. Okay? He shouldn't shut him out. I think he'll listen to you. See you tomorrow, okay?" She smiled and waved to her brother, and he got on Dean's delayed elevator after Anna and Gadreel got out, whispering to each other in hushed voices that Cas could tell were meant to be for themselves. He hit number ten, and as he stepped out, heard a muffled crash and a sound like breaking glass from down the hallway. He ran to 1021, and knocked, trying the doorknob; it was locked.

"Dean? It's Cas. Let me in, please. Tell me what's wr-" He looked up and frowned; Dean's banner was ripped in half, and the fake cobwebs were on the floor. He knocked again when there was no reply, and said in a softer voice, "Dean, babe, let me in. I want to help you. Let me help you." He heard a sigh, footsteps and the door unlocking. Castiel opened the door, and he was greeted by what looked like the aftermath of a contained bomb. The lights that had been hung on the walls were torn off and thrown onto the floor, the dry ice in the garbage. A Guns N' Roses poster was also on the floor, torn in parts of four. Cas closed the door behind him, and turned the light on, but noticed that the lamp was on the floor too, beyond repair.

He sighed, went into the bathroom, and searched the cupboard under the sink for a dustpan. "Dean, you didn't have to yell at Sam like that. He's just trying to be here for you." He found what he was looking for, and went back into the bedroom, sweeping the pieces of light bulb glass, ceramic and paper before dumping it out into the garbage can, the destroyed lights following. He unzipped his Superman costume, not even caring that he was in his underwear. Throwing it into the closet, he sat on the bed next to Dean, who fell over and put his head on Cas' lap as soon as his soulmate hit the mattress. He moaned into Cas' leg. "Why do people hate people like us, Cas? Why can't they just let us live in peace, and let us be like everyone else? It's bullshit!" Castiel shushed him, stroking his brown hair slowly.

"It's okay, Dean, we'll be done here in June, and then we can go to my quarter and be like everyone else. How does that sound?" Dean sniffed and looked up at Cas, rolling over onto his back. "We can have a house, and a yard and everything? And you can get a car and we can stay in bed all week-end?" Castiel nodded. "Yep. All week-end."

"And you won't ever leave?"

"I'd rather die, Dean."

"Cas?"

"Yeah?

"I need you…I need you to help me."

Cas held onto Dean in the way he knew calmed him down. "It's okay, Dean, I've got you. We're alright."

* * *

Castiel woke up to Dean's arms around his waist and body pressed to his. He looked at the bright red numbers of his alarm clock. 3:00 AM. He carefully lifted his torso off of the bed, getting one foot and then the other off of his side. He stretched and sighed; Thank God there wasn't any class in the morning, otherwise he'd have to sit in the weirdest way not to be in pain. He tiptoed into the bathroom, filling the sink up with cold water and splashing it onto his face and neck before looking up at his reflection. His tired blue eyes, the red marks that went from the crook of his neck down to his waist.

"Cas, geh back ih bed." Castiel smiled and chuckled at Dean's tired voice. "Just a second, Dean, I have to go."

"Go where?"

"Just go back to sleep, I'll be there in a second. I promise."

Dean groaned and Cas could hear the covers shifting as he rolled over, breathing evening out. Cas emptied the sink, went back into the bedroom and back to his side. As soon as he got under the covers again, Dean curled against him. Cas kissed his head. "Oh, my God, Dean, do you even know how cute you are right now?" He didn't go all the way back to sleep; when he would just start to drift off, the smallest movement Dean made against him would wake him back up. Only four hours later did Dean finally open his eyes all the way, smiling up at Castiel as soon as they found him.

"Morning, Cas…How'd you sleep?"

"Alright. How about you?"

"Yeah, well you knocked me out. Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"September 2nd. Right here, actually."

Dean nodded. "Oh, yeah…First time, right? I told you that-"

"That you loved me. I remember." Cas smiled, weaving his fingers with Dean's above the covers. "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you something pretty important. I asked Estie if there was a way we could go over to our quarter for next year, and she told me a couple of weeks ago that the North quarter started this program that gives out of state same sex soulmates something called a "Head Start", like a scholarship kind of, but with enough money to help with the first year of school, like housing and stuff. She asked about or kind of situation and they said we apply."

Cas yawned widely, and Dean raised an eyebrow. "You slept like shit, didn't you?" He smiled and got out of bed, putting on underwear, jeans, t-shirt, plaid button up and leather jacket. "Get some sleep, Cas, you need it. I'm going to go out and buy something to warm up downstairs, and then I'll be right back, okay? We have to start on that theology paper today." Cas nodded lazily, and Dean kissed him lightly before grabbing his helmet and going out the door, locking it behind him, leaving Castiel in the darkness of their room.

* * *

_I walk down the street, the Space Needle to my left, EMP to my right. At the intersection, I stop as the sign glows red. A little girl who looks like Estie when she was a first grader and her mother stop next to me._

_"Mommy, guess what? Mr. Smith said that he'd bring his new baby today. It's a girl!"_

_"Oh, that's nice! Is his wife coming?"_

_"No, Mommy, it's his husband, his name is Andrew. He's nice."_

_"I didn't know that, honey, maybe we can see if they'll come by the restaurant any time soon."_

_The little girl looks up at her mother again. "Mommy, how do daddies have babies?"_

_The mom stutters; she obviously wasn't expecting the question. "I…um, I don't know, honey…"_

_The girl turns to me. "Excuse me, but do you know how daddies have babies?"_

_I'm about to open my mouth and laugh when I notice that the stop sign isn't red. It's dark grey. The girl's red shirt is a light grey against her light skin. I've heard that colours start going away, but only if…_

_I feel like I'm going to be sick. The young mother by me puts a hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?" Her light blue eyes are a light grey now, and yellows are starting to fade now. I'm panicking._

_"No…" I see an ambulance zoom past me, and pray that it doesn't turn left, that it doesn't turn towards Dean's work._

_God doesn't hear me._

_I can't think. All I know is that something is utterly wrong, that I'm going to lose something that I've been working to protect each day. I hear myself scream his name, and then I break into a run, completely ignoring the cars that slam on their brakes and honk at me as I cross the busy intersection. I see traffic building up as I go down the street, and at the crossing in front of Dean's work at a mechanic shop, stop and can't move._

_Everything is in slow motion. Paramedics heading towards a person lying in the middle of the street. A 1967 Chevy Impala motorcycle beyond repair, even for Dean's father. The colours fading with each step I take towards the body in the road. I know who it is._

_By the time I reach the bike, yellow, blue, purple, brown, orange, all gone. The only colour left is green. Bright green leaves quiver on grey branches, a green car is being photographed by police in black uniforms. One of the paramedics tried to push me away, but I let out a scream of "THAT'S MY HUSBAND, HE NEEDS ME!" and they back off. One says that they got here too late. But all that I hear are the strangled breaths coming from Dean's lips, his face, almost unrecognizable from the road rash after the face shield of his helmet was knocked off. He sees me and tries to smile, and then I see that he's crying, and then I start to. His eyes are flickering between grey and green, death and life. He lets out a sob of "I'm sorry, Cas," and then starts to choke, dark liquid I think might be blood coming out of his mouth when I try and prop him up. I hold him, the way I hold him when he's scared, and he relaxes immediately, his breathing shallow. I don't care about the blood on my clothes. All I care about is that he's not scared._

_I take his helmet off as gently as I can. I stroke his head, and see that there's something from the helmet that cut him, and my hand comes up grey. But I keep on doing it, because he needs to be calm. He can't die afraid. 'Don't be sorry, Dean. You'll be alright, we'll be okay!" I know I'm hysterical. I know he will not be okay. No one can be okay after what happened to him. He uses every bit of effort to bring his hand up to my face, and shakes his head. "No, I…I don't think we will this time…Just don't forget…don't forget that I love ya, okay? I need you to smile on it…Please…" I try with all I can to give him one more, and lean over and kiss him. I pull away, and he sighs. "There it is. There it is. I love you…" His hand falls from my face, and I freeze. His eyes are still open. But they're gone. No more green. Everything is black and white. I scream and hold onto him. Thinking that if I do, he'll come back to me. But he doesn't. He never will come back._

"Cas, wake up, you're okay! It's alright, I got you!" Castiel sat up in bed, breathing in pants, and was suddenly aware of Dean's leather clad arms around him, but kept his eyes squeezed shut. "No, I'm not okay, how can I be okay after watching you…" He started crying, and melted into the leather jacket, clinging onto Dean's shirt as if he'd die if he let go. Dean kicked off his boots, and gathered Castiel in his arms like he was a child afraid of the dark during a power outage. "Cas, I'm here. It's okay, I'm here. I'll keep your bad dream away, okay? It won't come back as long as I'm here. We can do theology after you sleep. Okay? Look at me." Cas found the light green and felt his heart rate slow. "I won't let your dreams get bad. Okay? Just close your eyes and I'll be here to help you." Castiel sighed, and he only let go of Dean when he was so asleep, his body didn't know what it was holding on to.


	3. December, 2014 (Part 1)

**December 8 th, 2014**

Dean threw his last t-shirt into a suitcase, closed the lid. He couldn’t stop smiling, mostly due to the fact that he was about to meet Cas’ parents. He followed Castiel out of their dorm room, locking the door and putting the key over the frame on the spot he knew was slightly sunken in, where he always put it before leaving for breaks. They got to the elevator and Dean swore. Out of service again. They slowly moved down the stairs, joining students heading back home to the West quarter in front of the permanent dorm buildings. Eventually, Estielle (she had gone off of school early due to the amount of snow in Twin Falls) was with them, holding onto her older brother’s hand as Seattle people came over and greeted her, hugging her or asking for a picture with her. By the time she had been given contact info of almost fifty different people, the first of 240 busses for all of the flights out to the thirteen districts arrived.

After having their luggage put into the storage hold of bus number 17, Cas, Dean and Estielle got on board. As Estie sat next to Ben Davinson (‘They’ve been friends ever since I can remember,’ Cas had said to Dean.) her brother and his soul mate went to the back, Dean watching with surprised eyes as students kept on boarding, counting the different couples. He relaxed when the bus jerked forward.

‘Wow, Cas, your quarter really is okay with us, huh?’

‘Yeah. It’s nice in Seattle. We won’t have too far to go, it’s the airport city, too. You’ll like it there.’

‘No issues with PDA, then?’

‘Not at all, D-’

Castiel was silenced by Dean’s lips against his, for so long, he nearly forgot to breathe. He pulled away with a agasp, and Dean nodded as he looked around.

‘Nobody reacted…’

‘I did. I feel like my lungs are screaming, thanks for depriving them of oxygen.’

Dean winked. ‘No problem.’

The bus ride to the airport would take at most four hours, minus the amount of normal traffic that would be in the public transportation lanes due to thousands of people flocking to the airport from across the quarter. Dean would just mostly look out the window, but would periodically sneak a kiss to Castiel, who had his head on Dean’s lap and his legs bent to occupy his seat. Cas, after an hour long marathon of _Doctor Who_ fanfiction, turned off his iPhone and closed his eyes. ‘I’m going to take a nap, wake me when we get there. Okay?’ Dean kissed Cas and smiled. ‘Okay.’

**Three Hours Later**

Dean’s eyes were closed wen Cas woke up, the airport only a few minutes away. He sat up and nudged his soul mate awake. ‘Dean, we’re here, the airport’s a couple of minutes away.’ Dean groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes. ‘How did we get here so fast?’ ‘The bus lanes were open, so we got by most of the traffic in two hours.’ Cas smoothed Dean’s hair out of his face; It was longer than he liked it. ‘You gotta go get your hair cut, Dean, you look like a mountain man.’ Dean snorted.

‘What, my hair isn’t able to be like Sammy’s?’

‘Sam can pull it off. You…not really. It makes us look at least ten years apart, and that’s awkward. And it also doesn’t feel right, you know? It’s not…you. I dunno how else to put it.’

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. ‘Fine, I’ll cut it. Keep in mind it’s for you.’ He suddenly broke into song. ‘ _Everything I do, tell you all the time, Heaven is a place on Earth with you!_ ’ Cas laughed as Dean continued his rendition of _Video Games_ , adlibbing parts so it’d apply to them.

After the bus finally stopped at the School Departure Zone, Dean and Cas got up and waited by the luggage hold with Estielle for their bags. Once they got them, they filed into the airport, getting in line at security, taking the usual hour to get through metal detectors, fingerprint scanners, and to have their interstate passports checked. Another to wait for the tram to the North Quarter gates. Dean, once he got out of the tram, waited for Castiel, bringing his cell phone out of his leather messenger bag to message Sam to tell his mom he was getting on the plane, adding that he just didn’t want her to bother him for the next one and a half hours before he actually boarded. He caught sight of Cas, put his phone back, and grabbed Cas’ hand, the way that people in love do, the way that’s slightly different than friends holding hands. Just enough difference to tell.

The three of them went to the waiting area, and looked at their tickets. Estielle groaned. ‘You guys are on the flight before me! Dammit! Oh, well, at least the three of us can- Wait, where are you guys  going?’ Castiel turned around as he was leading Dean away from her. ‘To the bathroom. Haven’t you heard of the buddy system?’

Dean nodded, going along with Cas. ‘Yeah. Shit always gets real when people go alone. Right, Cas?’ Estielle looked from Dean to her brother, back to Dean, sighed. ‘Okay, fine. Go, I’ll be in line at Starbucks. But if you guys are gone for such a long time that I get to the register, you aren’t getting anything from me. You got that?’ But they were already sprinting down the terminal and turning a corner before she even finished.

* * *

 

‘Dean, we have ten minutes…Fucking _hell_!’ Cas’ head hit the door to a cleaning personnel supply closet, Dean on his knees, too busy to respond with anything but an extremely flung forward nod. Castiel moaned louder than he should have, and Dean drew back, much to Cas’ displeasure. ‘I told you gotta be quiet, Cas, someone could hear you!’

Castiel put his knuckles in his mouth; his face was dark red, and Dean noticed his nails digging into a shelf in the dim light. He smirked, the one he reserved for when he was about to be a completely reckless idiot, or what Cas had come to nickname his ‘bedroom look’. He got straight back to work on Cas, but raked his teeth along Castiel’s length, making him moan and shudder as he came. Dean had just swallowed and on one knee when the door was flung open and a shriek sounded.

‘DIOS MIO! ¿Por qué en nombre de Dios son ustedes dos aquí? Espera un segundo ... que es asqueroso! IRSE ANTES DEBO LLAMAR LA SEGURIDAD, NO BIENVENIDOS AQUÍ, NO EN ESTE DISTRITO!’ A woman smacked them both on their heads _hard_ , and Castiel barely managed to get in order before she could kick him. The two of them ran back to the terminal, Estielle just at the counter at Starbucks.

‘There you are, what took you so…’ The woman came running into the terminal, screaming, ‘Dios nunca perdonará a los dos hijos de puta que piensan teniendo sexo en los armarios está bien aquí! Vas a ir los dos al infierno!’ She stood still, noticing the amount of boys holding hands. A look of pure terror shot across her face. ‘Aye, Díos…’ And she ran back where she came. Conversations continued, and between the buzz of people wondering what she had said to people who understood, Estielle turned to Dean and her brother, saying, ‘God dammit, you two.’

They waited for another five minutes, Estielle becoming increasingly anxious. She threw her hands in the air, and shouted, ‘Okay, you two, get your shit and get on the plane! You don’t want to be late!’

She grabbed their hands, pulled them towards their bags and hugged the both of them tightly. ‘See you guys in Washington, alright? Now, hurry up, your section is being called next! WAIT, CAS! TELL MOM AND DAD I SAY HI!’ Cas nodded as Dean led him by the hand to the gate, and as they stood in line, a girl with shoulder length brown hair came up behind Castiel and tapped his shoulder, smiling when he turned around. ‘Hey there, Cas, long time, no see!’ Cas smiled and hugged her.

‘Hannah! Oh, my God, you’re right! Oh, um, this is my soul mate, Dean. Dean, this is Hannah. She’s like how Jo is to you, we’ve been friends since…’ ‘Since first grade. So, Dean, I guess you’re from this quarter, right?’ Dean shrugged. ‘Yeah, it’s pretty nice getting out of here for a break. And a change. I heard it’s super pretty up there in the winter.’ The three of them turned around when a flight attendant said into a microphone, ‘Now calling rows 28 through 41 on flight 17 to Seattle, that’s rows 28 to 41.’ Cas turned to Hannah as Dean had his ticket scanned.

‘Where are you sitting?’ She looked at her ticket. ‘Row 30, seat K, Sam’s in I next to me.’ She laughed when she saw Dean’s look of confusion. ‘Sam’s my soul mate, his name’s really Samandriel, but everyone calls him Sam. It’s a hell of a lot easier than his real name. How about you guys?’ ‘Row 28, A and B.’ She nodded. ‘Nice. Well, come on, move your ass, there’s a line!’ She pointed to the door, where Dean was standing with his hands on his hips, a bitchface in full gear. Cas hurried to the person scanning tickets, and handed it over. Afterwards, he ran to Dean, grabbed his hand, and went down the passageway to the airplane.

**7 Hours Later, 10:05 PM**

When the airplane touched down at North Quarter International Airport, the sky was dumping a mixture of rain and snow, black tracks all along the runway where airplanes had landed and taken off. Dean couldn’t stop grinning no matter how hard he tried to relax his cheeks; from what he heard about Cas’ family, they were already a lot more accepting than most people he knew. As the plane slowed down, the pilot’s voice came on over the intercom. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, welcome home!’ Everyone cheered and whistled. ‘If you’re visiting and are planning on staying in Washington for your break, we here at Alaska Airlines suggest going to the places that the people who live in this state suggest because all of the places tourists go to aren’t as good.’ Everyone laughed, a few shouted ‘AMEN!’ and others just started talking.

The pilot came back on. ‘Anyways, I wish you all a fun and safe winter break, happy holidays, and a kickass New Year.’ The airplane stopped at the gate, and the seatbelt light turned off as everybody stood up almost simultaneously. With their bags all ready, they waited for the people who had decided to put _all_ of their bags in the overhead storage for at least ten minutes before they were able to move into the aisle. Dean messaged Sam and his mom, telling them that he was in Washington and that the flight had gone just fine, that he’d call them in the morning.

After him and Cas finally got off the airplane and headed to the baggage claim, they turned around as a group yelled, ‘CAS! DEAN!’ Castiel ran over towards them, hugging everyone and laughing as he did. Dean stood still, suddenly so nervous, he forgot how to walk. So this was Cas’ family. A woman with light brown hair like her daughter’s and partially two of Cas’ brothers, and almost the exact same features. A man with the same hair as his sons, the same face as Castiel and another brother. Three girls who looked college age next to who Dean suspected were their respective soul mates.

Cas rolled his eyes and grabbed Dean’s hand, pulling him towards the group of eight. ‘Everyone, this is Dean. I told you ‘bout him, he’s staying for Christmas.’ The woman Dean assumed was Cas mom smiled and held out her hand, which he grabbed. ‘I’m Lily, Castiel has told me all about you.’ Cas’ dad was next. ‘Adam, I heard that you’ve got an Impala. I’d kill for one of those…’ Dean smiled and turned to Cas’ brothers. The tallest one motioned to his two siblings and their soul mates. ‘This Gabriel and Alexis, Raphael and Sarah, and I’m Michael. This is Maria.’ The girl next to him smiled and leaned against his shoulder.

They all stood there for a silent minute, and then Cas turned back to Dean. ‘We better get our bags so we can go to bed when we get home.’ Dean nodded, and followed Castiel over to the baggage claim. Their bags were some of the last ones to come, and as they waited, Cas’ mom groaned. ‘Shit. Estie’s plane got delayed until the morning. Says because of the snow here…’ Dean smiled widely. ‘It’s okay, she has a ton of people who would take care of her. They’re probably fighting over who gets to give her their jacket to sleep under.’ Everyone laughed at that, and Dean felt at ease.

He felt like he was home.

* * *

 


	4. December, 2014 (Part 2)

**One Hour Later, 11:45 PM**

Castiel unlocked the front door of the Novak house, his dad helping to carry in all six suitcases and dropping them by the stairs. Dean liked the house; it was a pale yellow, two stories. The entryway opened up to the living room, and to the immediate right of the door was a steep set of stairs that wound upwards in a spiral shape to the second level, where Castiel’s room was. Dean turned around, slumped his shoulders and chuckled; Cas was practically leaning against the doorway, his eyes almost closed. He shook his head. “He’s just the most adorable person ever when he’s exhausted, y’know? It’s like…I don’t even know if you can compare it with anything.” He suddenly realized what he had said, and turned red when he noticed Cas’ parents looking at him like they’d just seen the best love scene in history. Lily smiled and looked at the ground. “Yeah, he is pretty cute. Especially when he was a kid. But we’ll talk about him tomorrow, you two better go and get to sleep.”

Dean nodded and stood in front of Cas, his back facing him. “Okay, c’mon, I’ll carry you up.” Cas mumbled something that sounded like “I’m too heavy for you…” Dean scoffed. “Oh, please, I’ve picked you up before. I’ve got almost as much muscle as Sammy, and he carried two of your bags on your first day in my dorm. The _big_ ones, too. Now come here and get on my back so you can sleep in your bed.”

Castiel groaned, and wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck as he hooked his elbows behind Cas’ knees, lifting him up and off the hardwood floor with ease. He smiled to Cas’ parents. “We’ll see you in the morning. If Estie gets here before we wake up, could you tell her we say hi?” Cas’ dad nodded. “Sure thing. Oh, and Dean?” The boy turned just as he was placing his foot on the bottom step.

“I like you. You’re definitely welcome to stay here as long as you like when summer break starts up.”

Dean thanked them both, and continued his way up the stairs, Castiel breathing slowly and softly into his neck, just about sleeping even before they reached the landing. Dean looked into each of the four rooms on the floor, cancelling out each one; the room with three beds were the older brothers. The one with the four poster was Cas’ parents. Estie’s had a huge rainbow flag on one wall. Castiel’s door was covered with Polaroids, mostly of him and his friends, with Estielle, and his brothers. Another of him waving to the camera as he boarded the airplane to the Midwest quarter.

Dean skillfully reached the doorknob, turning it and flicking on the light. Cas had a poster of the Avengers, Doctor Who, Sherlock, and a Seattle Seahawks flag hanging from his walls, the most Castiel part of the wall decorations being five shelves stacked with books. Dean went to the end of Cas’ queen bed, sitting his soulmate on top of the comforter. He laughed when Cas fell onto his back, and turned back around so he could untie Castiel’s shoes and pull them off. Cas groaned in his sleep, and when Dean went to undo the button of his jeans, sat up and said groggily, “I got it, I got it.”

Dean nodded and stood up, taking his jeans off after slipping off his Converse and putting on a Van Halen shirt. Turning around, he sighed; Cas’ pants were on the floor, his underwear still in them. He got into the bed after turning off the light, and kissed Cas’ forehead, going to sleep to the sounds of Seattle; sirens, car horns, airplanes, cars passing by with their radios blaring despite the time. And he loved it.

* * *

 

**10:47 AM**

“Cas? Wake up, babe, we gotta unpack.” Castiel yawned, and smiled up at Dean when he saw his face. “Good morning. God, what time is it?” Dean glanced at the clock on Cas’ nightstand, and continued sifting his fingers through his soulmate’s hair slowly. “About 10:48. Estie’s sleeping, she got here at seven. Breakfast’s downstairs, if you want to get it before we go.” Cas sat up and got out of bed, pulling on sweatpants and one of Dean’s shirts. He turned back to Dean, who was grinning. “What?”

“It’s a bit cold this morning, I can tell.”

Cas smacked Dean on the arm. “Shut up, Dean, I-”

“I can take care of it for you.” Cas raised his eyebrows, laughing. “You’re joking, right? You aren’t gonna blow me while my little sister is in the room next door sleeping?” Dean shrugged. “Why not? You don’t want your mom and dad seeing you with that, that’d be awkward. Especially with your boyfriend sleeping in your room, too.” Castiel sighed, and pulled down his sweats, Dean’s eyes drifting down. Cas nodded. “Well, you wanted to help me out of an awkward situation, so help me out before they come up to wake us, okay?”

Cas’ parents didn’t have to witness his morning hard on, but they did look at him weird when he nearly fell down the stairs, his legs shaking from what Dean had just done a minute earlier.

After they both finally had breakfast and got dressed, Castiel wrote a note for his sister, saying hello, that he’d missed her coming home, that they’d all go out the next day. Cas’ dad let Dean borrow one of his bikes (a 1971 BSA Rocket, to be exact) so him and Cas could go into the city to see what Dean would like. They settled on EMP, Easy Street for lunch, and then go back home after having dinner at _Dick’s_. Castiel gave Dean the directions to Seattle Center as they rode through traffic, his voice barely audible over the horns and occasional police siren, but they still got to EMP at twelve. After parking at a pay lot next to the museum, Cas grabbed Dean by the hand and pulled him towards the metallic multi-colored building, getting in the admission line behind two girls who kept on taking selfies while waiting for twenty minutes. As they neared the ticket counter, Castiel turned around to face Dean.

“Okay, so there’s a Nirvana exhibit, Jimi Hendrix, guitars, music, and…Well, right now, the temporary thing’s closed, so do you just want to go to the store on the music level first or…?” Dean immediately said, “Music! I just…I kind of wanna sing.” Castiel laughed and kissed his soulmate on the cheek as the person at the counter said, “Next in line, please!” Cas insisted on paying the $32.80 entrance fee for the two of them, and after thanking the person and putting their entry stickers on their shirts, went straight to the sound lab section. Dean pulled Castiel towards an empty room, and as soon as they got in, picked up the Les Paul resting against the far right wall. He was grinning as he pulled the strap up and over his head, plugging in the audio cord and strumming the first couple chords of _Ramble On._ Not three seconds later did two other guys burst in, leaping at the drum kit and bass guitar. Cas didn’t know what he was supposed to do, so he just sat on the floor and tapped his foot, nodded his head to the rhythm. He didn’t know what to expect from Dean’s voice, though; he actually gasped at how perfectly in tune Dean sang each note, getting every single tone, pitch, and guitar riff right.

But he did change a couple of words. “ _Cos in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a guy so fair. But Gollum, and the evil one, crept up and slipped away with him. Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I’ve got one thing I got to do. Ramble on, and now’s the time, the time is now, to sing my song. Goin’ “round the world, I gotta find my boy. On the way, I’ve been this way, ten years to the day, ramble on, gonna find the angel of my dreams.”_ And he sang the last part staring straight into Castiel’s eyes, not even looking away when his guitar solo came up.

When Dean finished the song and the guys thanked him, saying they loved Zeppelin and couldn’t handle how well Dean had sung, leaving the room. Cas stood up, wrapped his arms around Dean. “You sang that, for me?” Dean shrugged and smiled. “Yeah, cos you deserve it after dealing with me for the past three months. You have to for another seven, too.” Castiel laughed, and as he led Dean to the Nirvana exhibit, said, “I don’t put up with you, I don’t have to. I love you for your loud music and beautiful singing voice I didn’t know you even had.”

They spent the next two hours wandering around, not really paying attention. They were paying more attention to each other, especially in the scream booth, where instead of screaming, they kissed, Dean pulling the middle finger up to the camera. He sent it to Sammy and Jessica, both of whom texted him back as they left EMP at two about how his mom had nearly seen it, and how deep shit he’d have been in had they not switched to their Instagram. But all in all, they loved the picture.

They took the thirty minute ride to Easy Street, Dean smiling as he walked through the door, making a beeline to the stairs in the back labelled “Vinlys Upstairs!” Cas followed, and watched Dean pick up ten albums of Led Zeppelin, Foreigner and Blue Oyster Cult. He grinned as he searched the back cover of “Back In Black”, adding that to the stack. He went up to the counter.

“You into classic rock, huh?” The cashier said, smiling at Dean, who nodded as he smiled back to Cas. “Yeah, I want to get him used to it since he’ll have to listen to it more after we graduate.” The total rang up to 44.00 even, and as Castiel handed his student discount card to the cashier, Dean wandered back downstairs to a section with CD’s. He picked up a random album.

Guns N’ Roses, Appetite for Destruction. The same album as the poster no longer in his room.

 

* * *

 

After walking around Seattle Center for an hour and eating at Dick’s for dinner, Cas basically yelled at Dean to take a detour to Pike Place Market through his helmet.

“Cas, it’s almost eleven! We should be getting h-“

“Dean, I just want to show you something. Please?”

“Okay, fine. But it’s not my fault that we’re out past curfew, okay?”

Dean turned left as Castiel directed him almost like a GPS to an almost empty area next to the market, empty except for three men sleeping on a raised bed of grass. Dean didn’t really seem to notice them, but Cas walked over to them, taking out thirty dollars and setting a ten by each man’s head. After putting his wallet away, Castiel grabbed Dean by the hand and walked them down a set of stairs, through a few passageways, and out to a streetlamp brightened road right in front of Pier 58 on Puget Sound. A huge ferris wheel was looming up into the sky, the separate cables holding the structure together constantly changing color in a traffic stopping display of lights. Castiel led Dean over to a long line, and after waiting for another couple of minutes, he paid for their ride up. They got into a black pod with another couple, a boy and a girl in their mid-twenties, who started making out intensely as soon as the door was closed. Dean and Castiel sat awkwardly still until Dean shrugged.

“Okay, Cas, show me what you wanted to show me up here.”

Castiel pointed to the window, and wrote on the condensation that was starting to appear, I ❤ U.

He shrugged and gave Dean the half smile reserved for him. “I just wanted to tell you.” Dean took out his phone and snapped a picture of Cas’ message on the window before leaning on his shoulder. “That's it?"

“Yeah, it is.”

Dean smiled and pecked Castiel on the lips lightly, only pulling away when the door of the pod opened up. They held hands on the way back to the motorcycle, and when they were going into one of the dark passages, Dean heard Castiel shiver. He turned around, unzipping his leather jacket and, with hands in his pockets, wrapped Castiel in a warm hug. They kept on walking that way, Cas leaning back against Dean, Dean’s nose nuzzled into his boyfriend’s neck.

After they maneuvered up the stairs, laughing the entire way up since snow was starting to fall and got into the heated space between them causing Castiel’s back and Deans front to get soaking wet with melted snow, Dean started up the bike while Cas held onto him tighter than usual. Not in a scared way, but in a way that told Dean their night wasn’t really over.

When they got back to the Novak house, they left their shoes by the front door and their jackets in the front of the living room heater to dry out. They went upstairs to see if Estielle was back (which she was, a ball of blankets and sheets moving up and down with each small breath she took) before going into Castiel’s room, closing the door, and falling asleep only after they both were too tired from sex to stay awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be one more part of December after this, and then it'll be New Years!! I'M SO EXCITEDDDDD!


	5. December, 2014 (Part 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't want to be sad, I suggest you don't read it, but I really love this chapter because reasons...And Estielle's quote at the end is fucking PERFECT.

**December 25 th, 2014, 7:30 AM**

“DEAN! CAS! WAKE UP! WE GOT PRESENTS!” Estielle ran into Cas’ bedroom, jumping onto his bed while flailing her arms as if she was being attacked by a swarm of Christmas obsessed bees. She threw clothes at the grumbling couple, ignoring the fact that Dean simply picked up his pillow and threw it straight at her. “Estie, lemme sleep. I’m tired.” The girl let out an exasperated sigh, stopped jumping. “Guys,” she whined, getting on her knees and folding her hands, “Come on! It’s Christmas! Please?” Dean groaned and got up, but only after Castiel confirmed she was covering her eyes. After getting a pair of sweatpants and one of his Led Zeppelin t-shirts on, Dean grabbed Estielle by the waist and, carrying her over one shoulder, went downstairs and saw a woman with light blonde hair smile and stand up, a boy with brown hair to his shoulders that stood a good foot and a half taller, and a girl next to him, her hand on his waist.

Mary Winchester waited for Dean to put Estielle down before hugging her oldest son with a hold to compensate for the four months of not seeing him. She started crying, and Dean laughed, rubbing her back. “Hey, mom. It’s alright, I’m safe, okay? Hey.” He pushed her away to arm’s length, and smiled. “I’ve missed you, mom.” She wiped her eyes with her hand, and turned to get a mug of coffee from the kitchen. As she walked out of view, Dean and Castiel held each other by the waist, smiling and saying hello and updating with Sam and Jessica. Dean was just telling his brother about the quarter’s newest pro-equality law passed when he heard the sound of glass shattering on the hardwood floor. He turned around, Cas still at his side, and froze.

Mary was staring at him, her mouth barely open, shock written on her face clear as day.

“Dean, what do you think you’re doing?”

Dean felt Castiel tighten his grip on him, and turned back to glare at his brother. “Sammy, haven’t you told her yet?” Sam rolled his eyes, “No,” he whispered, “I thought you took care of that yourself.” Dean pressed his free hand against his forehead, and moaned, “You idiot. I haven’t seen her since fucking August, and this is something I’d tell our mother in person. Dammit, Sam.” He let go of Cas, and grabbed his mother’s hand before leading her out to the Novak’s backyard.

After Dean closed the door behind him, Mary whirled around. “Dean, what if it’s not who you think it is? What if it’s some girl at school and you don’t-” Dean felt like she had already kicked him out of her family as he said as calmly as he could, “Mom, it’s him. I know it is, you can’t tell me otherwise.” “But…you’re straight!”

“Bisexual, mom. There’s a fucking difference.” She flared her nostrils, and started breathing harder. “Dean, don’t talk to me that way.” Dean started to get angry, and threw his hands up in the air. “God, mom, why can’t you just deal with the fact that I’ve finally figured myself out? Why do you want me to be someone I know I’m not?” His mother didn’t speak to that. She just frowned and shook her head. “No. No, I don’t believe you.” Dean couldn’t handle her not believing him, so he opened the door back into the house and yelled, “Hey Cas, d’you mind coming down here for a second, please?” He felt his heart hammer in his chest as Cas stepped out onto the porch, a look of well hidden fright covering his face as soon as he saw Mary. Dean sighed and said sadly to himself, “She’s gonna disown me for doing this. Fuck it.”

He grabbed Castiel’s face in both hands, and brought the other boy’s lips to his, ignoring his mother’s shouts of his full name followed with a string of derogatory words. After about twenty seconds, Dean pulled away and turned to face his mother. “Well, d’you believe me now?”

Silence was her reply as she walked past him. She stopped with her hand on the doorknob, and said bitterly, “Tell Sam that I’m going back home. He’s welcome to come and leave with me with Jessica. Goodbye, Dean.” Dean yelled out the first thing that came to his lips. “MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO, MOM!” Mary slammed the door as she left, and Castiel held Dean’s hand as tightly as possible. He sighed and closed his eyes. “You did what you had to do to make her believe you, huh? She didn’t believe you?” Dean hugged his soulmate, burying his face into Cas’ neck.  “I didn’t want her to think of me as someone I’m not. I know that she’s never gonna talk to me again, but I think that’s better for the both of us.” Cas only nodded, and led Dean inside to his family and a helping of cookies and presents to get over Mary Winchester.

* * *

 

Dean didn’t sleep. Even with Castiel by him, he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes, for fear he’d see Mary’s face again, full of anger and disbelief. He got out of bed, padding out into the hallway to get a glass of water. Then he heard Sam’s voice, and the Novak’s home phone light blinking, signaling a call in progress. He got curious, and out of his personality, Dean picked up the phone, putting his hand over the receiver. His mother was in the middle of talking.

“-Sam, I just don’t want to believe it. What if he goes to Hell for it? I’d never forgive myself. My son with another boy…What did I do wrong with him?” Sam exhaled. “Mom, wasn’t it you who always said that God chose our soulmates? So why are you saying that God is basically going to curse Dean and Cas? If He chooses soulmates, it means that He wanted them together. Don’t try to justify how you’re acting with religion, it’s hypocritical.” “Samuel Jonathan Winchester, don’t say things like that!” “See? There you go again. You raised Dean the same way as you raised me. Don’t try to blame yourself, and don’t blame Dean.” “You didn’t know John, Sam. If he was alive he would have bea-”

Dean put the phone back on the hook, and went back to bed. As he was listening to his Classic Rock playlist on his phone to help and calm down, he heard somebody else climbing into bed between him and Cas. It was someone smaller than the both of them, with long hair and skinny arms. “Hey, Estie, why are you not in bed?” She shrugged next to him. “I dunno, I guess I just didn’t want her voice in my head anymore. Sam’s got the phone on loud, and it goes through my wall. I hate it.” Dean nodded. “Yeah. It’s just that where I’m from, people don’t like to think about same-sex soulmates. It’s sorta… taboo, I guess. And she talked about my dad like he was a fucking devil or something. He wasn’t, he was awesome. He’d be fine with me. He was born here, anyway.” Estielle closed her eyes and yawned. “I don’t know, Dean,” she said, settling in to sleep, “Sometimes the people we think we know best, we don’t really know anything about.” She started to snore softly seconds later, and Dean still couldn’t sleep. Not because he didn’t want to close his eyes and see his mother.

Because he realized that he didn’t know anything about his own parents.


	6. New Year: January, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna say that I kind of cried while I did this one, fair warning. :)

**December 31 st, 2014  11:47 PM**

Dean opened up the last bag of chips as he watched Castiel’s laptop, which was perched on the window ledge of their dorm room. He grabbed a handful, stuffing all ten Lays in his mouth before jumping onto the cot and throwing his arm around Cas’ shoulders. Castiel was a lot more excited than usual, and he kept on talking about how good he felt the new year would be and how happy he was that he’d be going back home for spring break with Dean, how they could go with his friends to a miraculously timed AC/DC concert, how they could go to the pride parade in Seattle. Dean laughed as Cas jumped in his spot and landed with his head on Dean’s thighs, blue eyes sparkling with anticipation. “What’s your resolution gonna be, Dean?”

“I dunno, probably gonna see if I can try and get a house for us if we find a job. How about you?” Castiel was suddenly on another world when he spoke. “I’m gonna learn how to ride a motorcycle. Can you teach me?” The look Cas gave Dean made it impossible to say no, and they turned their attention back to the screen as the announcers and the immortal Ryan Seacrest (who Dean swore had to be some sort of alien in disguise) started to talk more about what they were going to work on, from losing weight to donating to charities. The usual things famous people were forced to say to keep their image intact.

**11:54**

“Dean, only six minutes left! SIX!”

“Yeah, six minutes and months before we can get outta here. I’m so ready to leave.”

“Your hair’s getting long again, babe, get it cut. Or-”

“Shut up, I know. Or else you won’t marry me.”

**11:58**

“Cas, we didn’t turn this on just for you to fall asleep. Come on, sit up.”

“Dean, it feels like we have ten minutes!”

“Well, we have two, so calm down.”

“Okay. Can I sit on your lap?”

“Fine.”

**11:59**

“One more minute! DEAN, ONE MORE!”

“Cas, calm down! You’re slipping! I don’t want you to fall off.”

“BUT DEAN, THERE’S ONLY THIRTY, TWENTY NINE, TWENTY EIGHT SECONDS! TWENTY SIX-”

“Shh! People are trying to sleep, y’know, shut up.”

“TOO LATE! ELEVEN!”

“Cas, stop!”

“NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX-”

“I’m warning you to stop!”

“TWO! O-”

Castiel’s last word of the year was cut off by Dean’s mouth against his, and as the ball dropped in New York City, Dean and Cas were too busy making the first hour of 2015 as memorable as possible. And an hour later, in bed with nothing over them but sheets and a heavy layer of blankets after the heating in the dorms had broken again, Dean kissed Cas on the top of his head, and said softly, “Happy New Year, Cas.” He closed his eyes and fell asleep, dreaming of what would happen when the final six months of school were over.

* * *

The next day, their classes were more tense than usual when they walked in. Dean couldn’t help but feel like every single pair of not hungover eyes swiveled to him when he walked into a room with Cas, and it seemed as if his soulmate understood. They felt extra freaked out when one of the girls decided to walk over with all of her things and say to Cas, in a demeaning way, “I was sitting there. Go find another place.” And took Castiel’s pause as an invitation to sit her ass right on the only empty chair next to Dean.

After they finished their bigger homework assignments at the Roadhouse well into the night, they got back to their dorm and sat on Dean’s bed. Cas was the first to talk.

“Did you feel like everybody was watching us today for some reason, or was it just me?”

“It wasn’t you. I swear to God, if my fucking mom said a word…”

“She wouldn’t do that to you, Dean.” Even as Cas said it, Dean shook his head and laughed in what told Castiel meant she would.

“You don’t know her. She did about our next door neighbor. He got kicked out of his house by the fucking Homeowner’s Association. She’s like a fucking demon.” Dean let his head fall onto his hands, his forehead on his palms. Cas took the opportunity to wrap an arm around the other boy’s shoulders, and say in his most calming voice possible, “Dean, it’s oka-”

“NO, IT’S NOT!”

Dean yelled the words with such utter ferocity that Castiel was both terrified and astounded. Dean shook his head, placed his hands on Cas’ face, and held it still. His lips quivered. “No, Cas, you don’t…You don’t understand what could happen. You’d be sent away and I wouldn’t be able to see you again and…I don’t know how I’d get through not being around you. I don’t know how the hell I’d live without you. If it killed me, it’d be her fault!” Dean broke and started to cry, “I  don’t want you to leave, Cas, cos if you left me, I don’t know how I’d get out of bed in the morning, how I’d be able to go to sleep at night, cos you’re a part of what helps me stay here. If we could, I would just take you back to Seattle right now so we could live, y’know? Why can’t we live here in peace?”

Castiel didn’t have a good answer, so he just got up, closed the shades, and held Dean for two hours until he fell asleep unable to think of anything except how bad it would be if somebody so much as found out they were together.

* * *

_We’re in the high school office, the same one I had to go to on my first day. Dean is obviously uneasy, and as the clock keeps ticking on the receptionist’s desk, his eyes get wider and wider with fear. How they caught us is till a complete mystery, but it’s our last time together. It’s bullshit we can’t make it count._

_Dean whispers, “I can’t be with her, Cas, she’ll kill me. Nobody would give a damn if she did.”_

_“Estie would care, and so would my parents. I sure as Hell would. We’ll be fine, Dean. Don’t worry.”_

_“That’s easy for you, Cas, your family is okay with us. Not mine.”_

_We sit in silence, like we’re waiting in front of a firing squad that’s slowly filling their guns with words to hurt us more than they already have._

_The door to the principal’s office opens and a girl walks out, a smirk on her face and a look of what can only be described as hate in our direction. We stand up, walk in as she walks past, shoving her shoulder into me and making me stumble and almost fall over if Dean’s arms don’t steady me. The girl calls us something that Estie would probably rip her head off for saying, and Dean and I flinch. The firing squad reloads with words that blast our ears straight from the head of school’s mouth. Words like “disgusting” and “not natural” and “a bad influence.”_

_And then he attacks Dean._

_“Son, I’ve known you since you started school in this district, and I’ve taken all of your…messin’ around and gettin' into trouble cos that’s how boys act. But why did you have to do this?”_

_“Because. I had to.”_

_“No, boy, you didn’t._ His _home (he stares at me like I’m a stain on the Earth, like I make his mouth taste bitter just with my existence) is full of people like you, and they get what they can take. But that’s not the case here. That girl saw you two…kiss at the…” He looks down at a paper on a clip board, cringes at a picture that’s attached. He unclips the sheet and the picture, tossing it in front of us. “The_ Experience the Music Project Museum in _Downtown Seattle.”_ _The picture is mainly of the girl and a friend, but in the background is Dean and I, of when we went to EMP and had kissed before getting our tickets._

_“Now, tell me why.”_

_“Because I love him, and because he’s my soulmate.”_

_The principal shakes his head and looks straight at Dean, like I’m not there. He addresses me at the same time when he says, “You’ll both find your things in front of the dorm building. Castiel, your family will be sent a letter explaining what happened, and your airplane ticket will be in here when you're ready. Dean, I think you mother said she can drive and pick you up. I’m sorry, but it has to happen.”_

_He doesn’t sound sorry at all as the firing squad fire and kill me with one word. Not from this shit's horribly biased and careless mouth. But from Dean’s, only after he makes a point and kisses me breathless in front of the school head, and after  trying to wipe the tears that are streaming down my face in torrents._

_“Goodbye.”_

* * *

Castiel woke up, breathing in a sharp gasp of air. He had to look around to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, that he wasn’t having a nightmare of a dark room in a world without Dean. He swallowed, and fear washed over him like the blackness of the room when he said quietly, “Dean? Are you awake?” He sighed when a groggy voice from the place where the cot stayed said, “Mhuh? Whahisit? Cas?”

“Dean, why are you all the way over there?”

“I dunno, I just…felt like people were watching us again. I had to.”

“Get your ass over here. I could barely sleep.”

“It’s three in the morning. Yes, you did.”

Cas closed his eyes. “No, I really didn’t.”

He heard footsteps coming towards him, slowly and quietly, until he could clearly hear Dean say, “Move over so I can get in bed.”

Castiel heaved himself over to the side of the bed close to the wall, and when Dean let the covers fall, felt his soulmate’s arms tighten around him. Cas instantly felt relieved, and closed his eyes as Dean ran his fingers through his nearly black hair, humming a song off of one of the records that he bought for Cas, who would always go to the beginning of the track and stop the record once it finished.

“I have become comfortably numb…Lalalalalalalalala…” And Cas fell asleep within minutes, with Dean there to keep the nightmares away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought up this last part as I was listening to this song. I really thought it was appropriate for what Cas had just gone through, even though it was a nightmare. Cos, in my experience, listening to a song that just calms you down can make you feel a hell of a lot better really fast. Hope you all liked this chapter, I've got plans for February!:)


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